Wednesday, 17 October 2012

My relation with my father and my son ……



What can I tell you about my father? I was the only son of my father. I was the lucky child as I was the center of his attention all my life. My dad had a daughter and he loved her so much but I knew one thing that he loved me a lot.

My dad was a simple guy. I don’t ever recall of thinking for him that “My dad is not cool enough”.  When I was kid, he used to play with me indoor games as he was not much of a outdoor person. He taught me card games and chess. He was good in math and so do I and my kids too. We traveled together a lot. Once I remember we were travelling and we had an accident caused by my mistake. He hurt himself pretty good but never got mad at me. Instead he was worried about my well-being. And it happened again and again and again ……and all that time he proved to be the best.

I always thought that I have to teach him how be daring and bold on financial decisions but once he was gone I realized security meant more than growth to him. My dad didn't tell me how to live; he lived (very short but contain life), and let me watch him do it. I've had a hard life, but my hardships are nothing against the hardships that my father went through in order to get me to where I started. When I was a kid all major decision for my life were never been taken by him. He would always consider experts (in his opinion) advice or help. Now I think it was very good for me. Till to-date I miss him when I have to take some important decision. I miss him because of I can’t talk to him who advise me to seek help from expert.

Now I consider myself wealthy as I believe truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. I got two daughters and a son. I will tell you letter about my daughters little letter. My son is the oldest in my kids. He is shy kid and till you don’t enter in his comfort circle, he will not talk to you at all. And it’s not easy to enter in it. Dads work harder than ever in today’s stressful world. I show him how important my son is by designating time just to him – and I have three children, so I take turns to spend time with each. We at least play some games together everyday as we both loves ping pong. During these times, I had to pry a bit a first, but when I stick with it. he starts opening up, I was amazed by how complicated kids life can be, and just the simple act of listening brought us closer. And let me tell you, it doesn't matter when it is or what you do -- just having that time scheduled together every day will strengthen your relationship and give you both something to look forward to

I learned from my past that time spent  together when your son is young will result in a stronger relationship when he is an adult. I encourage him to have his own opinions on things we do. We can't underestimate the importance of setting aside time together, any activity at home, from mowing lawn to painting the basement floor, can be turned into a father and son bonding experience. This doesn't guarantee the two of us are about to make happy, lifelong father-son memories, but I think it's a great place to start.

Everyone has their own interests, and it's natural for my son to want to learn more about what he finds exciting. I always try to help and encourage him on his interest like collecting coins or his scout’s activity. You've got to exhibit a positive attitude when you're around your son. I do point to something he's done recently and tell him that he did a good job, or just make an effort to say something positive to him every day. He loves to bread fish and he is quite successful in it too.



I think that he might not say it very often (if at all), but your son looks up to you. You're the primary male influence in his life, so virtually everything he's going to learn about being a man is going to come from you. Keep this fact in mind “Lead by example”. I show him how to be a humble winner and a gracious loser (He started beating me in the game now). I teach him the value of hard work and the importance of seeing projects through to the end. This shows him how to act like the man I want him to be.



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